Alanna is an actor, writer, and director specializing in fast, flirty, funny.

"Your job is to laugh, and my job is to figure out why “pistachio” is funnier than “peanut.” I love the math of it.

Aside from the occasional Tennessee Williams diva, I’ve made a career out of playing (what I lovingly call) “Hot Girl Farts” roles.

Meticulously crafted vamps “of little substance” are my specialty, leading to reviews like this:

(On my turn as Brooke Ashton in Noises Off) “Alanna J. Smith is very good at being a bad actress, though no one cares as she looks so good in her underwear.”

Thanks, but I want to tell the truth of those stories: how the women are complex, and essential to the men making fools of themselves (which is what you came for); and I want to tell new stories to redefine traditional gender roles.

Bottom line is, when the world gets too heavy for you, I prescribe a four-dimensional comedy. Side effects include recklessly forgetting your to-do list, experiencing 10 years in 10 minutes, and safely unleashing a basement of boxed-up belly laughs."